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Posts Tagged ‘simple’

A very dear friend has guest posted for my blog.  She has recently created her own blog as well (address at the end). The following post may give you an idea about her style of writing.  🙂

ARE YOU BEING A GOOD EMPLOYEE TO ‘YOURSELF’?

“Oh well I don’t have the patience and time to cook my meals, so I order my food home most of the time. I have struggled with weight problems for a long time now.”

“I feel so low and gloomy lately, I don’t feel like doing anything”

“I have all this studying to do, so I don’t really have the time to socialize.”

“My ignorant boyfriend has being acting so indifferent lately; all I do whole day is try to get his attention and getting none is making me miserable!!”

“I wish I looked like her..she has the best of everything!”

“I hate myself!!!”

“Why do I always fail??”

“Why can’t I look like these size 0 models?? I hate being size 8!!”

“I can never be him..he is ‘The Man’ blessed with all the good looks and charm; and always has the luck when it comes to girls!”

“Nobody loves me..”

These are just very few common statements most of us make nowadays. If you analyze each statement, you can get a clear picture of that person’s self-image. How much positiveness do you observe, or is there any at all? Well to me, the word “Negativity” is flashing bright and big in my mind right now!

So what is one’s self-image? In short, we can define it as the way a person views themselves. But for a broader and deeper understanding of the term requires intense analysis of ones own self-image.

I believe self-image is a very complex mental picture, which is determined and influenced by various other self-qualities and factors, such as:

Self-Esteem , Self-Importance ,Self-Care, Self-Respect, Self-Affection / Self-Love, Self-confidence, Self-regard, Self-worth, Originality, Positivity, Beliefs, Emotions, Desires ,Equality.

A simple definition of a person’s self-image is their answer to this question – “What do you believe people think about you?” I have often observed poor self-image to be the result of accumulated criticisms that the person collected as a child and still do even to date, which have led to damaging his own view of themself.

Self-love is some thing I have seen very less around me. It always made me wonder why is it that people forget or is neglectful that he or she needs to be loved not just from others but most importantly from their own. As a result, he or she fails to realize how much impact it makes on ones self-image.

Throughout the years I have spent in medical school, I have realized that pampering yourself inside-out and keeping your soul happy, will naturally help attain a more beauteous outer look as well. And that a charming body language comes from steady balance between the inner and outer self-foundations and self-control of the mind.

Life’s stresses can wear you out easily, mentally and physically. But what do we really do to protect ourselves from these stresses and prevent detrimental effects on us?

  • Do we all eat right? Eat healthy?
  • Do we all take out time from our busy schedule to exercise?
  • Do we all have a social life?
  • Are we all capable of maintaining inner peace? If so, how well do we understand the imbalances in our inner peace and how to maintain it?
  • Do we all know how to balance between pleasures, desires, wants and needs?
  • How well do we manage negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, negativity, frustration and depression?
  • How original are we with our ideas?
  • Do our wants outweigh our needs?
  • Are we always happy with what we have and what we get?
  • Overall, do we all live a healthy lifestyle?

These few questions can get your mind thinking – am I really putting the effort to keep myself satisfied eternally? Now you may say that different people satisfy themselves by various things and ways, some emotionally, some psychologically, some spiritually and some physically. The list can go on from having a circle of friends, caring family, lovable spouse, career, ambitions, sports, charity, socializing, meditation, praying and many more, or just simply by keeping themselves busy. But do we all feel a sense of self-worth and self-importance at the end of the day after having these various satisfactions?

Self-image plays an important role in daily life. It can affect almost everything. The way one conduct him or her self in front of others, orally conveying of one’s self-thoughts, body language, opinions, decisions and even the way you think , can give an observer a precise picture of your self-image and if it’s a poor one, then its not really some thing that will make you very happy.

To conclude, following are a few strategies I used to help myself to improve my self-image.

  • Most importantly you do not need any one other than yourself, to firstly accept the way you are and who you are.
  • Love yourself. Respect yourself. Praise yourself.
  • Treat yourself often. You don’t need a partner to buy you a bunch of inexpensive flowers or to go watch a movie. Treat yourself at the best restaurant you have always wanted to go to but just not alone.
  • You do not need huge company for happiness.
  • Learn to appreciate the smallest to the biggest things in your life. So that if it’s gone one day, you shouldn’t have a hard time accepting life’s harsh truths.
  • Self-dependence is always good on the long run.
  • Don’t sit and wait for things to change. Make a move and be the change.
  • Do little things that make you happy or relaxed, from experimenting with your hair, to being a helping hand to someone, to been just a listener to somebody who just had a bad day, to even writing a letter to your parents appreciating all that they do for us
  • Do not depend on another for you own happiness or care.
  • Your beliefs affect your perceptions or how you interpret what you see, hear and feel. Look at yourself and identify the beliefs that are affecting your life in a negative manner. Knowing your beliefs will give you a sound basis for emotional freedom.
  • Feel your feelings. Do not muffle or bury emotions within yourself. Release them. How? Talk to someone you trust and who is a good listener. Crying – a very normal method to release your emotions. Another very helpful way is to simply keep a journal and write down your feelings and thoughts.
  • Healthy eating and exercising often is a key to long-lasting nurture of oneself. Physical fitness has affects not just on your body, but on your mind and soul as well.
  • It’s all about the little things in life that has a huge impact on nurturing of your self-image.

I must say that, in the past few years, I too had forgotten that I need to live not just for others or just for the sake of living, but for my own self and I realized that I needed affection and care not just from my loved ones, but from myself as well.

As the saying goes, no one person is perfect, but the one who learns from his mistakes and corrects themselves can always reach near perfect with time.

Human nature is not perfect and neither is the world we live in. With it comes suffering and the only path to end this suffering is by gradual self-improvement.  So are you being a good employee to “Yourself”?

Post written by:  NJDS . Blog:  http://memyselfyouusandi.blogspot.com 

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I have been born and brought up in U.A.E.  I  lived there for 20 years until I shifted to my home country, Pakistan,  last year in August.

One of the traits that I loved in the people of U.A.E. was their simplicity. The way they used to sit down and eat rather than eating on a dining table. I have even seen the Sheikhs eating while sitting down on the desert sand. I like the term  عا جزی in Urdu more than it’s meaning, humility,  in English. It describes more of what I am trying to say.

Speaking of which, reminds me that once someone asked me a trait which is found in human beings but not in Allah. I didn’t know the answer plus I got anxious too. I mean what trait could be in human beings but not in HIM (the Almighty). The answer to this was عا جزی (humility).  Beautiful isn’t it?

Here are some pictures which I took at the Hatta museum which demonstrated how Arab people live (even at this day and age).  They may use cars now instead of camels, they may live in air conditioned houses now but they still are so deeply rooted to their traditions and customs and most importantly, their religion, Islam.

Simply beautiful and something that I would want people of my country to have.

Room for guests.

Desert, while going to Dubai

Najma Aijaz  25th January 2012

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We exchanged rings and got engaged!  It’s that simple and yet so beautiful. Isn’t it?

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My Mask

I wake up in the morning and wear a mask as my covering.

(After that) I smile, even with my eyes. In this fake world no one notices, it’s a lie.

Wearing my mask, allows my heart to become shielded so that there’s no hurt detected.

I talk, I laugh, I socialize. I listen to people criticize.

Living simple and being yourself is out of style, so I wear a mask all the while.

At night, before going to sleep, I remove my mask (damaged by now). I repair it for tomorrow.

I go to sleep being myself assuming that mayb I am one of those who just donnot know how to live.

Najma Aijaz

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