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Archive for the ‘Love, Family, Relationships’ Category

As said in my earlier posts, I have lived in U.A.E. for many years, which means I had the privilege to meet people from various different nationalities.
Once I was with my friends at the Dubai Creek Park when we came across an elderly couple from U.K. They were tourists and since it was winter at that time they were loving the weather (because the winter in U.A.E. is like the summer in U.K.). We talked about places in U.A.E. and some known places in U.K. which me and my friends knew from the stories we read at school (At that time I hadn’t been to U.K.).
Then our conversation went to the differences in our lifestyles. They said their son and daughter in law live in a house with one son, whose very cute. But it’s not like it is in most Asian countries where after retirement, parents stay with their kids. They said it’s very unlikely that their daughter in law would tolerate them for more than a week. And they said, most of their time is spent in travelling. Their next stop being Thailand. They complained about the teenage girls being pregnant in U.K. and overall the lifestyle of the youngsters over there. Me and my friends were a little shocked as we thought that the Europeon people prefered this way of living. They prefered to stay on thier own, being independent all their life.


Anyways, when I went to Dubai Pharmacy College after some years. There were teachers from Pakistan, India, U.K., France etc. We were sitting in the college’s cafe and again a similar debate started.

But this time the teacher from U.K. got emotional, stood up and said: ‘I bet none of you people staying away from your parents call them everyday. Well, let me tell you, I call my mom every single day’. Plus, the Indian teacher told us about how even in our countries we see numerous cases where the people literally tell their parents to get out of the house. Even here in Pakistan every once in a while there’s a case being shown on telly where they show parents living in Edhi (an organisation).

So, I don’t really think we should pinpoint people from specific nation and say that they don’t love their parents as much! The kids that do love their parents will show care towards them in their own way and those who don’t, won’t, no matter from where they are.

Najma Aijaz,  22/03/2012

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During the time when I was studying for CAT (Certified Accounting Technician) I came across one sir’s style of teaching which kind of impressed me.  The reason why I observe all my teachers’ style of teaching is because I personally enjoy teaching.

Sir Shahid taught us Management Accountancy and I wasn’t surprised when 90% of the students passed at his subject while at the other classes, the ratio was 70%.

And I am not exaggerating.

Firstly, he gave us a test after every chapter. (Not a big deal, I know.. read on.)

Sir Shahid divided the class into equal numbers and so two groups were hence formed. The test used to be 10 marks each and whoever got below 7 had to attempt a retest the following week together with the test of that week.  This was the first way he urged students to pass the test in the first attempt to avoid the burden of two tests. And this worked with the lazy students: 

Secondly, the group which had the most number of failed students (below 7) in a month had to give another group a party. So there was a tea party every month. And per person it didn’t cost a lot.  Everyone tried not to get below 7 and even urged the procrastinators of the group to get above 7. Gradually, the number of students with below 7 marks, became really very less. And somehow the students who may have failed other subjects, passed Mr. Shahid’s subject of Management Accountancy. 🙂

I miss the ambiance, the enthusiasm he generated in his class. He actually made his subject a lot more interesting than it would have been without him. 

Najma Aijaz, 21st March 2012

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Pakistani Mangoes in America – Guest Post | Pakistani Bloggers.

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A man just got married and was returning home with his wife. They were crossing a lake in a boat, when suddenly a great storm arose.

The man was a warrior, but the woman became very much afraid because it seemed almost hopeless:

The boat was small and the storm was really huge, and any moment they were going to be drowned. But the man sat silently, calm and quiet, as if nothing was happening.

The woman was trembling and she said : “Are you not afraid ? This may be our last moment of life! It doesn’t seem that we will be able to reach the other shore. Only some miracle can save us; otherwise death is certain. Are you not afraid? Are you mad or something? Are you a stone or something?”

The man laughed and took the sword out of its sheath.

The woman was even more puzzled: What he was doing?

Then he brought the naked sword close to the woman’s neck, so close that just a small gap was there, it was almost touching her neck.

He said :” Are you afraid ?”

She started to laugh and said :” Why should I be afraid ?,If the sword is in your hands, why I should be afraid? I know you love me.”

He put the sword back and said, : “This is my answer. I know God Loves me, and the storm is in His hands SO WHATSOEVER IS GOING TO HAPPEN IS GOING TO BE GOOD.

If we survive, good; if we don’t survive, good ,because everything is in His hands and He cannot do anything wrong. ”

Allah( Subhana wa taaala) say’s in the Quran :

“But it may happen that ye hate a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that ye love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knoweth, ye know not” (Quran, 2:216).

Make a habit of saying Alhamdulillah and acknowledge Allah in everything you do. It’s very easy to forget and to neglect this. Acknowledging Allah as often as possible will save you from becoming selfish, self-centered and proud.

Therefore, Brothers and Sisters, always be optimistic and respond with “Alhamdulillah” and Remember that Everything happens with you is for GOOD. — 

Alhamdulilah [“Praise be to Allah.”] – الْحَمْدللّهِ

Source: Unknown

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Lesley Carter shares her teaching experience:

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A very dear friend has guest posted for my blog.  She has recently created her own blog as well (address at the end). The following post may give you an idea about her style of writing.  🙂

ARE YOU BEING A GOOD EMPLOYEE TO ‘YOURSELF’?

“Oh well I don’t have the patience and time to cook my meals, so I order my food home most of the time. I have struggled with weight problems for a long time now.”

“I feel so low and gloomy lately, I don’t feel like doing anything”

“I have all this studying to do, so I don’t really have the time to socialize.”

“My ignorant boyfriend has being acting so indifferent lately; all I do whole day is try to get his attention and getting none is making me miserable!!”

“I wish I looked like her..she has the best of everything!”

“I hate myself!!!”

“Why do I always fail??”

“Why can’t I look like these size 0 models?? I hate being size 8!!”

“I can never be him..he is ‘The Man’ blessed with all the good looks and charm; and always has the luck when it comes to girls!”

“Nobody loves me..”

These are just very few common statements most of us make nowadays. If you analyze each statement, you can get a clear picture of that person’s self-image. How much positiveness do you observe, or is there any at all? Well to me, the word “Negativity” is flashing bright and big in my mind right now!

So what is one’s self-image? In short, we can define it as the way a person views themselves. But for a broader and deeper understanding of the term requires intense analysis of ones own self-image.

I believe self-image is a very complex mental picture, which is determined and influenced by various other self-qualities and factors, such as:

Self-Esteem , Self-Importance ,Self-Care, Self-Respect, Self-Affection / Self-Love, Self-confidence, Self-regard, Self-worth, Originality, Positivity, Beliefs, Emotions, Desires ,Equality.

A simple definition of a person’s self-image is their answer to this question – “What do you believe people think about you?” I have often observed poor self-image to be the result of accumulated criticisms that the person collected as a child and still do even to date, which have led to damaging his own view of themself.

Self-love is some thing I have seen very less around me. It always made me wonder why is it that people forget or is neglectful that he or she needs to be loved not just from others but most importantly from their own. As a result, he or she fails to realize how much impact it makes on ones self-image.

Throughout the years I have spent in medical school, I have realized that pampering yourself inside-out and keeping your soul happy, will naturally help attain a more beauteous outer look as well. And that a charming body language comes from steady balance between the inner and outer self-foundations and self-control of the mind.

Life’s stresses can wear you out easily, mentally and physically. But what do we really do to protect ourselves from these stresses and prevent detrimental effects on us?

  • Do we all eat right? Eat healthy?
  • Do we all take out time from our busy schedule to exercise?
  • Do we all have a social life?
  • Are we all capable of maintaining inner peace? If so, how well do we understand the imbalances in our inner peace and how to maintain it?
  • Do we all know how to balance between pleasures, desires, wants and needs?
  • How well do we manage negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, negativity, frustration and depression?
  • How original are we with our ideas?
  • Do our wants outweigh our needs?
  • Are we always happy with what we have and what we get?
  • Overall, do we all live a healthy lifestyle?

These few questions can get your mind thinking – am I really putting the effort to keep myself satisfied eternally? Now you may say that different people satisfy themselves by various things and ways, some emotionally, some psychologically, some spiritually and some physically. The list can go on from having a circle of friends, caring family, lovable spouse, career, ambitions, sports, charity, socializing, meditation, praying and many more, or just simply by keeping themselves busy. But do we all feel a sense of self-worth and self-importance at the end of the day after having these various satisfactions?

Self-image plays an important role in daily life. It can affect almost everything. The way one conduct him or her self in front of others, orally conveying of one’s self-thoughts, body language, opinions, decisions and even the way you think , can give an observer a precise picture of your self-image and if it’s a poor one, then its not really some thing that will make you very happy.

To conclude, following are a few strategies I used to help myself to improve my self-image.

  • Most importantly you do not need any one other than yourself, to firstly accept the way you are and who you are.
  • Love yourself. Respect yourself. Praise yourself.
  • Treat yourself often. You don’t need a partner to buy you a bunch of inexpensive flowers or to go watch a movie. Treat yourself at the best restaurant you have always wanted to go to but just not alone.
  • You do not need huge company for happiness.
  • Learn to appreciate the smallest to the biggest things in your life. So that if it’s gone one day, you shouldn’t have a hard time accepting life’s harsh truths.
  • Self-dependence is always good on the long run.
  • Don’t sit and wait for things to change. Make a move and be the change.
  • Do little things that make you happy or relaxed, from experimenting with your hair, to being a helping hand to someone, to been just a listener to somebody who just had a bad day, to even writing a letter to your parents appreciating all that they do for us
  • Do not depend on another for you own happiness or care.
  • Your beliefs affect your perceptions or how you interpret what you see, hear and feel. Look at yourself and identify the beliefs that are affecting your life in a negative manner. Knowing your beliefs will give you a sound basis for emotional freedom.
  • Feel your feelings. Do not muffle or bury emotions within yourself. Release them. How? Talk to someone you trust and who is a good listener. Crying – a very normal method to release your emotions. Another very helpful way is to simply keep a journal and write down your feelings and thoughts.
  • Healthy eating and exercising often is a key to long-lasting nurture of oneself. Physical fitness has affects not just on your body, but on your mind and soul as well.
  • It’s all about the little things in life that has a huge impact on nurturing of your self-image.

I must say that, in the past few years, I too had forgotten that I need to live not just for others or just for the sake of living, but for my own self and I realized that I needed affection and care not just from my loved ones, but from myself as well.

As the saying goes, no one person is perfect, but the one who learns from his mistakes and corrects themselves can always reach near perfect with time.

Human nature is not perfect and neither is the world we live in. With it comes suffering and the only path to end this suffering is by gradual self-improvement.  So are you being a good employee to “Yourself”?

Post written by:  NJDS . Blog:  http://memyselfyouusandi.blogspot.com 

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I have been born and brought up in U.A.E.  I  lived there for 20 years until I shifted to my home country, Pakistan,  last year in August.

One of the traits that I loved in the people of U.A.E. was their simplicity. The way they used to sit down and eat rather than eating on a dining table. I have even seen the Sheikhs eating while sitting down on the desert sand. I like the term  عا جزی in Urdu more than it’s meaning, humility,  in English. It describes more of what I am trying to say.

Speaking of which, reminds me that once someone asked me a trait which is found in human beings but not in Allah. I didn’t know the answer plus I got anxious too. I mean what trait could be in human beings but not in HIM (the Almighty). The answer to this was عا جزی (humility).  Beautiful isn’t it?

Here are some pictures which I took at the Hatta museum which demonstrated how Arab people live (even at this day and age).  They may use cars now instead of camels, they may live in air conditioned houses now but they still are so deeply rooted to their traditions and customs and most importantly, their religion, Islam.

Simply beautiful and something that I would want people of my country to have.

Room for guests.

Desert, while going to Dubai

Najma Aijaz  25th January 2012

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